I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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