hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
