So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
