then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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