So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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