Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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