It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
