He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
