what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
do nipples grow back?
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