Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
