What a fucking waste of an outfit
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
