I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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