Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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