Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
