and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
