Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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