So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
