I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
