Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
