hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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