Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
