guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
