He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She bit a glass in half.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
