And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
