So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
