his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm always down for nudity.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
