one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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