So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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