I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He felt like a one man threesome
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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