ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
