if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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