Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
