Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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