Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The uberlube is also flammable
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
