How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
