just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
