This is not my ceiling
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
