Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
