plz talk dirty to me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
