HIV tests are more positive than that guy
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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