dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
