Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I need water and some morals
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
