On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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