This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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