Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
