This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
