You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
