do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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