i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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