think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
